I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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