were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
