i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
