Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
