this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
