There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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