We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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