on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
