what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
