A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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