I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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