One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
