youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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