why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
