we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
