Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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