I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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