How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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