Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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