On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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