Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
