I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
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in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
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I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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