We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
