There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
