Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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