Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
