I look better un-naked...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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