I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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