just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
