for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
