Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize