Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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