Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
