oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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