You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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