I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
