M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
