You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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