you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am full of burrito and curiosity
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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