I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
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how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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