does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
