Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
bring money and cleavage
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
