Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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