question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
