I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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