I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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