Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
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He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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