I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
