Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
