Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
