Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
