i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
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Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
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ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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