Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I smell stomach acid.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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