Kiss
Puke
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
