when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
