I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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