I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
