i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
