Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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