i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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